Meditation and Rest

Over the past few weeks, I've been struggling (again) with what does it mean to rest in the Lord? How do we deal with the demands of the day, but knowing that we need God's touch to deal with the demands of the day? I don't know about you, but this has been a life long struggle. I have seasons when I do better with "life-balance"; I have seasons when I'm horrible with it. Job demands, family demands, ministry demands, life demands....how can I stop for a few moments to spend time with the King?

On Friday, Lou started, our Spring study, discussing the spiritual disciplines, as outlined in Richard Foster's book, Celebration of Discipline. He started off this week by teaching on meditation. Lou challenged us to experience the discipline of meditation. Richard Foster defines Christian mediation as "the ability to hear God's voice and obey His word." According to Thomas a Kempis the purpose of meditation is calling us to "a familiar friendship with Jesus." Foster isn't trying to say that we should have some "mushy, giddy, buddy-buddy relationship with Christ"; but more the level of intimacy and frienship that the disciples experienced while walking with Christ.

So, this week I am going to take the challenge to put my "to-do" list aside, to trust God to help me push back the demands of the day, to not feel guilty about taking time to rest and to practice meditation. I hope you can take this challenge: to take a moment this week to become still, to stop and think, to stop and listen, to experience a moment of inward silence that can bring comfort and peace in our fast paced lives.

One Day at a Time

My family and I are walking through the grief of losing Jessica. We are approaching our first Christmas without her. We have experienced some pockets of joy in this holiday season, but we also have dealt with loss and despair. Daily I cling to the truth that God is in control, God will bring peace & comfort, God does have a plan. Yet, sometimes my emotions still fight this truth.

I've been reading through a devotional book by Frances J. Roberts, titled Come Away My Beloved. Today really hit home and I thought I'd share it with you. The scripture reference is Matthew 6:34, Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

Frances Roberts writes - the text is written as if God is speaking to us:
O My child, have you not known the way of the Lord, and can you not trust Him now? [I must admit I'm not sure I feel like trusting God in this current valley.]

Be content with what each day brings, rejoicing in your God, for surely He shall deliver you. [I have experienced this in the past, but again getting my emotions to line up with truth can be difficult.]

His way is discernable to the eye of faith. His heart is surely your strong tower. In His affection you have security. In His love are your hope and peace. Each day holds some small joy that shall escape you if you are preoccupied with tomorrow.

Nothing daunts your Father. Nothing can restore the past and nothing can bind the future, but today you may live in the full blessing of the Father's smile. Hold to His words, for they are like a nail driven into solid wood. All else may seem shifting and transitory, but His Word is firm. [I know this is true -- my feelings and emotions do shift, but God's word has been faithful to me.]

His word is a rock that shall not be moved. It is a firm place to stand. Do not walk in the path of human reason, and resist the pressures that would project you into conjectures about the future. Live one day at a time! For you know that He loves you, and you will find your peace as you rest in Him.

I choose today to remember that no matter how my emotions may shake me, my rock is God and I can trust His word. I will walk day by day, remembering who He is and knowing He will bring peace and healing to me and my family.

Reflections on turning 50!

Lou & I both turned 50 this year! Unbelievable, where does the time go? When I turned 40, I could see myself turning 80. I know that sounds silly, but it brought some comfort to know that I was not quite "over the hill". It was my way of rationalizing getting older.

Now that I'm 50, I do have a hard time seeing myself turn 100. So, the realization that I'm in the latter part of my life has hit me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not discouraged over this. I am thankful for good health and hoping to age gracefully. My forties were my best decade to date; so who knows what will happen in my 50's!

I have been evaluating what have I done so far with my life and what will I do with the remaining days I have. This has struck me more so in the past few weeks as I have been walking through the valley of greif again. I know that God numbers my days, but it becomes more real when you lose someone. [At least it does for me]. Jessica was only 18 when God called her home; Chris was only 27. How many more days do I have before I go home?

I don't have any answers yet to any of these questions. But, I am clinging to the truth that God has ordered my steps; God will never leave me and is faithful; and God will never hide from me, no matter how dark my journey seems. I have made some mistakes in my first 50 years and I will make some more mistakes in the next 50 years. But, as I continue to grow older, my desire is to serve God and bring Him glory with my life, love Lou & my family with all my heart, support my friends as they walk through life and to finish the race well.

Please continue to keep my family in your thoughts and prayers as we move into the holiday season. It will be difficult since Jessica won't be here to celebrate with us. Yet, we have confidence that she is celebrating and enjoying her eternal life and we cannot wait to see her again soon.

Jessica JoLinn Collins

On 1 October, I (Cathy) was cleaning up after our normal Friday ministry night. The phone rang and it was my father. My dad told me that my niece, Jessica JoLinn Collins, had died. She was 18 years old, a recent high school graduate and my brother's only child.

I sat there numb as I began to realize that I won't see her until I leave this world; as I began to realize that my brother won't see his little girl get married; as I began to realize that we won't hear her laugh again. Is this really happening?

God was so gracious to us. Lou began to call people to see if we could get help with running our ministry. I called United to see if we could get a flight home ASAP. Within four hours, we had our ministry covered and a flight to Denver the very next morning. The tough part about living in Germany is being so far away from family. How I wanted to be right there giving my brother a hug and crying with the family as we began to grieve the loss of sweet Jessie. Fortunately, I was home within 24 hours.

It has been a tough week as we said good-bye to Jessica. She was a relational young lady, who was deeply loved. She never met anyone who didn't become her friend. She had a heart of gold, a smile that would brighten the room, and loved life. She was creative, loved to bake, enjoyed volleyball, singing in the car, loved animals and really brought joy to our lives.

Now, we begin to live without her. I know God will continue to bring comfort and peace as we deal with this tragedy. We are trusting in God's soverignity and that He is in control. Our prayers is that He will be glorified through the homecoming of Jessica. But, right now, our hearts ache, in time we will heal...it will be a long time.

We do remember...we will never forget!

As we get ready for church this morning, we are discussing the fact that it is 911. We reflected on where we were 10 years ago and what we have done in those 10 years. 911 is my generations "JFK assassination." Everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing.

10 years ago, we were waiting to meet our movers as we were settling into our home in Colorado Springs. 10 years ago, we sent our new middle schooler off to 6th grade at Challenger Middle School. 10 years ago, we were excited to see what doors God would open up for us in ministry as we began to look for a new church community.

As we were sitting in our driveway, waiting for our movers, we were listening to the radio. The unthinkable occurred....a second plane had hit the World Trade center. WHAT?! We didn't even know there was a first; was this a joke? Throughout the day, with no TV, we listened to a portable radio that one of our movers had. We listened to updates on the pentagon, New York City, Flight 93. We listened to local reports that our bases were being locked down. We were in a daze! What was going on, America was being attacked. Lord, protect our country was our cry!

As the years went by, we all returned to our "normal" lives. Katie continued in school, we continued to work and serve our church. We spent time with family, enjoyed wonderful vacations, life went back to "normal". But, just like every tragic event -- there is always an anniversary.

Now, here we are 10 years later: 9-11-11. Katie is no longer a cute 6th grader, but a senior at University of Northern Colorado. We are no longer living in our nice home in Colorado Springs, but in a ministry home in Kaiserslautern, Germany. We no longer minister to 20 somethings that are just getting ready to start their lives after college; but we minister to the US military as they continue to protect our borders and our freedom.

We are proud to be Americans. We are proud to see how our country has handled this act of war -- it has been a testament of our people's character and resolve. We are proud to be serving God and our country in a very unique way as we open our home to servicemen and women and their families. Despite the fact that our enemy meant harm to us as a nation, we have persevered. God is still in control, He still reigns and He continues to have a plan for the American people.

Pause today and pray for those people who lost loved ones 10 years ago. Pause today and thank God for our freedom. Pause today and pray for the men and women who are currently serving in the military and a special prayer for those who are in Iraq and Afghanistan. Pause today and remember.

What do you do?

We get asked this question alot: What do you do? We explain to folks that we are military missionaries. We provide a home away from home to military personnel and their families, lead Bible studies in our home, meet one-on-one with people, basically, we just do life with folks, and pray that our lives glorify God in the process. After we answer, people look at us very strangely.

The next question, as they wrestle with trying to understand what we do, comes quickly. What does a typical day look like for you? Boy, that's quite a different question. It's different because it's not easy to answer. Lou was home in Colorado this summer for a family celebration and he was asked this question a lot. So, we have been pondering a good response.

The bottom line....we don't have a typical day. We study for four ministry nights. We study for our discipleship and mentoring relationships. We maintain a home that averages 100 people a week through its doors. We cook meals for our ministry nights. We have commitments for the military chapel that are part of our weekly tasks. To facilitate getting to know people better, we lead off-base excursions. It's amazing what you can learn about someone on a 2 hour car ride to see a church in a cute German town.

We then move into the non-recurring type of activities. Things that just crop up. Sometimes, they are major things -- like our basement flooding or rushing to the hospital to be with someone after their child has attempted suicide.

Two weeks ago was a perfect example. We got home from our vacation to learn that there was a going-away ice cream party for one of our guys who was deploying - THAT NIGHT! We spent some time eating ice cream and hanging out with Chris.

We woke up the next morning to have an email waiting for us from an old co-worker. Her son-in-law had been injured in Afghanistan and was at Landstuhl. We were able to visit him and meet with him a few times that week before he was sent back to the States.

We capped the week spending some time with some friends who were having some struggles.

We experience many joys, lots of laughter and some sorrows in our job. But, it is different every week, every day. We are so grateful for the opportunity do serve our U.S. military and the Lord. It is an honor and a priviledge. All we know is our lives are fun and fulfilled and NEVER DULL!

Cathy turns 50!

Unbelievable! Where does the time go? 50 years!! When I turned 40, I remember thinking "I can see myself living longer than 80, so I'm not middle aged yet." Now that I'm 50, I can't really see myself living to 100, so I guess I'm officially middle aged.

I must say turning 50 has been great. I have enjoyed a month of celebration. So, I guess this is a big deal. I really don't feel much different than when I turned 30, despite when I look in the mirror and I see some affects of aging (wrinkles, some gray hair, more aches & pains).

My birthday has been celebrated in many fun ways. The people in our ministry threw me a surprise party. We had a fun BBQ, played some softball, volleyball, and corn hole. We ate good food and had super conversations. Of course, no 50th birthday party should be without a pinata! [Don't you just love the great form I had swinging the stick to break the pinata?!]

I was blessed with some fun and special gifts. I received many birthday cards in the mail. I am the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family. My mother decided to remind all of my cousins, family and close friends that I'm the first to turn 50. So, I received several cards from folks that I typically don't get birthday wishes from. It was really special!

My dear hubby took me on a 50th mini-moon to Slovenia. We spent 2 days exploring Lake Bled. A quaint town with a beautiful lake and mountains. It was wonderful to have a few days to totally relax and be together.

I wish I could say that I have great words of wisdom as I begin this new decade. I have learned that relationships matter most...not my job or my ministry. Relationships are what gets me through the joys and sorrows of life. My relationship with God, my amazing husband Lou, my daughter Katie, my friends! So, as I begin this next phase of life, I look forward to many more years growing deeper in my walk with Christ, loving my husband and daughter more and strengthening the bonds of friendship that I have been blessed with over the years!